Blessed Suffering

by pill friends

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1.
03:14
2.
3.
01:31
4.
5.
6.
02:35
7.
03:31
8.
01:55
9.
05:04
10.

credits

released July 23, 2013

kyle schwander - drums
davis cook - bass
abby trunfio - cello/vocals
ryan wilson - guitar/organ/vocals

"blessed suffering" produced and recorded by scott stitzer during
may and june of 2013 in philadelphia, pa

all songs written by pill friends

special thanks to:
grace connell vocals on "parking lot graves" as well as scott stitzer
and sean riley for gang vocals on previously mentioned track
grace mitchell-dimicco vocals on "satan is your master"
nick morrison vocals "not here"
steve peterson for writing guitar parts in rituals
and nicole wilson for reading at the beginning of "forget me"
cover photo by t.j. strohmer

also thanks to our families, friends, and everyone that has supported us this past year <3

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Track Name: Rituals
hope you’re doing well in your own hell
sitting across from you and coming down again
i hear you say goodbye as you walk into the woods
i know the dogs will find you and they’ll lick your bones all clean
invoking silent screams as their teeth hit your flesh
passively devoured for redemption lies in death
i’ll go out later and find your lifeless form
put it on the altar and practice rituals

king of hell in everyone
in the places i go and the things that i see
emotionless i breathe your air and learn to trust nothing
detached i pray to you
forgive me for nothing
forget me i’m nothing
Track Name: Parking Lot Graves
alone again with no friends
what did you expect
from a selfish and narcissistic
suburban white trash christ?
who builds you up
to watch you bleed
away into his false needs
you know he doesn't care
and he'd leave you if he could

you long for happiness
only for it to fade
sadness is the same
pain never leaves
so don't feel anything
it’s better off that way
what did you expect
from a suburban white trash christ?

mass graves in parking lots
is where our ghosts met
and slept without a care
death is our savior

rest in pain
inside your hell
rest in pain
you can't be saved
rest in pain
in nothingness
rest in pain
you can't be saved
Track Name: Forget Me
nicole will you carry my bible
it’s dragging me down
and i cannot swim above this ground
my head is numb and my lungs are shot
i am something you could do without

so forget me
i’ll fade away
but when i’m gone
devour me

nicole your face is dying before my eyes
and through the breath of my own lies
i’ll wipe the blood from your tears
through your pointless suffering
Track Name: Satan Is Your Master
slit your wrists to bleed out slow
inside your sadness inside your home
fake it til you’re real
you can't recognize yourself in anything
satan is your master now

patient suicide
is what you know to feel inside
fake it til you’re gone
you can’t recognize yourself anymore
satan is your master now

bleed inside for him
live for no one
Track Name: Wearing My Dead Dog's Skin
i want to kill or to be killed
i pet my dog as i slit his throat
i skin him whole and i wear his furs
to school for looks now i feel good

i want to kill or to be killed
my dog licks me as he sinks into my meat
good boy he wears my tattered skin
to church for looks now they all know
i trust in hell
Track Name: Not Here
strip me
of my self
it’s useless here
pale light
seems so dark
swallowed in blood
its sweetness
is fulfilled
in our emptiness
killing us
so gently
i don’t care

all that is still remains
waiting patiently to end
so leave me to die
i know that i’m not here

god never cared so why should i?
passing through this empty space
god never lived so why should i?
light is left nowhere
Track Name: Mall Goth
goodbye hell
goodbye god
goodbye sun
and trailer home
goodbye mall
and step dad
goodbye flesh
goodbye drugs
i’m all done
i’m so gone
i’m all done
i’m so wrong
i’m all done
i’m so gone
i’m all done
playing mall goth

take my corpse and my child too
leave me without anything
i want to be as i was before
just a lifeless form
slip a line of percoset
school shootings on the tv screen
think of the people that you love
reaching out for anything
clinging tight to their crosses
knowing that they’ll rest in pain
pull the nails from your own skin
and die effortlessly

selfish crucifixion
comfort in every thought
no comfort at all
Track Name: Prayers
tears from your broken life
suffocate my desire
you put the words into my mouth
but i can’t even make a sound
i know i’ll let you down

you said that you’d love me
if i would consume your sin
and learn to die slow
i know i never could
i know i’ll let you down

your face turns out a smile
as you ridicule me
tear into my skin
i can understand
you know i’ll let you down
Track Name: Suffering
waking up in suffering
same as i was yesterday
cold breath speaks kindly
tells me to go back to sleep
words that no one hears
pass through paralyzed
in visions of darkness
i close my eyes
i lay my head down to rest
but sleep never comes

love evades every thought
and pills nullify my restless mind
i hate myself but i couldn’t hate you
even if i tried

hiding in my purest failure
i attempt to understand
why hate and love seem so different
but are one and the same
falling out of grace i know
it'll never change
even if i tried
Track Name: I'll Rise To Die Again
my sweet lord was at the mobile home
softly crying
painting nails eating flesh
drinking defiled blood with everyone
i’ll rise to die again
you won’t find my body
cause i made poor friends

bloody lips taking sips
in what i’m putting out now
drinking ammonia without anyone
mixed with my saviors tears
i’ll rise to die again
you won’t find my body
because i have no friends